bromanticide | Entries tagged with ic

[ In some magical AU timeline where Klaus drama was settled, the Originals went to Vegas and Elena was perfectly fine and people stopped dropping like flies, vampire sex was had and it was great, but now it's time to head back to camp ]

[ well, one of them is packing at least ]

[ fingering one of the blood bags, sitting on his bed ]

Huh. Must have been some wrong turn.

[ If you're visiting Stefan's room today, you may notice the floor is a bit sticky for your tastes... ]

Hello brother.

[ Continuations for (cfud) Oz, Dean, Leto, Kirk, Yuri, Haruki, Stefan, Sherlock, Lance, Tyson, Albert, Kell-El ]

[ (Drops) Haruka, Scar, Merlin ]

[ (Sabra) Charles Xavier, Cara Mason ]

[ (Aather) Cubia, Koukutou Mikiya ]

[flipping through his books in boredom. Life is hard when you can't go out during the day and you're not allowed to leave in the night either.]

((open to everyone who wants to come visit 1864!Stefan))

[time for Stefan's brooding!]

You're back.

I think I cage people with my feelings. Isn't it the most effective way of holding someone down? For all the things you could call a vampire, unemotional isn't one of them. Our ties to humanity are bound by anger, hate, need, love. For all our superiority over them, we are, in many ways, their darker shadow. What people bottle up, we unleash. Is it really a wonder that we're called monsters for being more human?

I always believed that Damon could leave. Anytime, anywhere. And it scared me so I left first. I always believed that Katherine only needs herself and I hate her for it. This is all still true... but it's not the only one. I feel that there is more importance on who I am and the way I feel. It has certainly kept us together.... but not the way I want it to be.

I remember when I died.

It was a moment of pain, so fierce that it was everywhere. I looked to my left and Damon's dead body stared back at me. I looked to my right and Katherine was being whisked away. Was it fear I saw in her face? Suddenly, my memory can't be trusted anymore. Who am I trusting these days? Can I keep anyone safe?

I feel alone. More alone than I have in years. I don't think anyone has my back. Not this time.

[oh and spoilers for 2.07. Ye have been warned]

So when you said you were going to care of it, I actually assumed you would take care of it, Damon.

How does one explain what we are? Aliens? We have our own terms, our own way of existence... we could be aliens for all we know. But then, there are times when we're so human, what else could we possibly be? That can't be right, can it? And yet, here we are. Maybe that's why we keep lingering back to humans, towns, cities. We have to be around them, we have to remember what it felt like, even though we're so far apart now.

Now... the dull ache in me continues. I think about feeding all the time, but I think of the guilt coming back to me in one painful gasp. I could feed. It would make me stronger. It would lessen my need.

But who would I be?

Current Mood: busy

[ most people do nuts when they're taken over their urges ]

[ stefan however, goes smooth ]

Nice car.

Current Mood: devious

[ slips into his room quietly, closing the door ]

What's the expression people use nowadays? FML? I feel that defines me right now. Though, to be fair, it's been that way for a long time now. I run, Damon chases or I come back and he's waiting there. I thought maybe in Mystic Falls, I would have some time to my own. He didn't come after me fifteen years ago and Damon hates the memory of Mystic Falls. But I was wrong. ... I should be used to that. I'm so used to being wrong about everything. Why do I even try to reach out for him when I know he just doesn't care?

And there are new vampires here, the kind I hate. I couldn't keep it together. Nothing is going well anymore and I can't even skip town with Damon. We're stuck here. ... At least Elena is safe. As for me, it's back to the game of eternal misery and revenge. Joy.

[tonight, someone's not sleeping well]

How many more people are going to know? How many more people will find out? And every time, I feel like my heart is sinking. "Nothing good can come out of this" and I know that from experience. ...But nobody's leaving. Nobody's saying goodbye. I'm over a hundred years old and I still don't get it.

Current Mood: awake

You know, I think this place is cheating. Or has no concept of privacy. Maybe I do sparkle if everyone can guess what I am by just looking at me. I thought I was more subtle than that. Do I smell? It's not like I'm showing my teeth. ... And I don't plan to, either. There's enough wildlife here that I can feed and no one will know. ... No, that's not true. Someone always seems to know here.

And even then... they believe in me. How is that possible? ... It shouldn't be, yet I can't find it in me to doubt them. No, that's not true. I just feel so ...relieved that people can believe in me that I want to forget it all again. I want to forget everything I've done, everyone that I've hurt. I could find my off-switch and shed all that pain. One of the few perks of being a vampire - emo has an on and off button.

It's going to come crashing down on me. But for now... maybe I'll believe. Just for a little while.

Current Mood: hopeful

Summer camp is not what I remembered to be. It's a prison for one. A prison full of people who don't belong there. I guess this is what happens when I wander too far for a squirrel. My world gets turned on its head. Vampires sensing others... people acting as blood banks.... It's too much. It's too good. This can't last. It never does.

Elena... if she was here, would she like it? No, probably not. She belongs in Mystic Falls, with her family. And Damon here would be a trainwreck I don't want to see, but I know I will. Because he'll come after me like he always does. Though... what will he do? I used to know, now I don't. I keep hoping but he's always let me down.

And I deserve that.

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Stefan Salvatore

Entries tagged with ic

[IC] Vacation

[IC]

[IC] Ripper of Monterrey

[IC]

[IC]

[AU] IN THE HOUSE

[IC] Grounded

[IC]

[IC] After being outed

[IC] Diary Entry - 08

[IC] Journal Entry - 07

[IC] And time for brotherly pow-wow!

[IC] Journal Entry - 06

[IC] [Playercest] Crazy Vamp Stuff

[IC] Aftermath

[IC] Journal Entry - 05

[IC] Pre-Intro for Damon

[IC] Journal Entry - 04

[IC] Journal Entry - 03

[IC] Journal Entry - 02

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January 2013

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