bromanticide | Entries tagged with stefan's diary

So the novels aren't great. I kept buying them out of the fornlorn hope that something magical will happen. AND SOMETHING DID. So I present: The Craving.

[NEW YORK]
Stefan: Making monologues about killing squirrels--Wait, I SMELL HUMAN BLOOD. Crap. I guess I should save her [whisks her to her home]
Her VERY VERY RICH Family: STAY HERE OR WE'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR TROUSERS
Stefan: Crap

Stefan: Man Lydia and Bridget remind me of mirror versions of myself and Damon. This analogy is no way going to bite me back in the ass later.

Winfield: Take the daughter you saved to the ball
Stefan: ....
Winfield: We still have your trousers
Stefan: FML

Bridget: Come meet Count Damon DeSangue
Stefan: Seriously? DeSangue? That's not even subtle!
Damon: Oh hello mysterious Italian stranger. We could be brothers!
Stefan: ... And that's even less subtle.

Damon: Look at how awesome my life is.
Stefan: Whoop.
Damon: Now I need you to marry Bridget while I marry Lydia. Or I kill everyone.
Stefan: I knew that analogy was going to get me!

[WEDDING PLANNING, THEY ACTUALLY GET MARRIED]

Damon: Man, this wine is good when laced with blood.
Stefan: OH MY GOD I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! [leaves]
Damon: Was it something I said?

Damon: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO RUN AWAY FROM ME so I'm dragging you home.
Stefan: sob kay but I'm going to insinuate you still have humanity in you.
Damon: Just for that, I'm killing the cabbie
Stefan: This feels like future deja vu

[They return home, THE ENTIRE FAMILY IS DEAD]
Stefan: SEE? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET MARRIED, GOD

[Then stuff happens, Lexi is awesome, Damon saves Stefan and leaves, while Stefan goes to San Fran to brood]
Stefan: Dear diary, I get the feeling Katherine is laughing at us.
Katherine: [not too far away] HAHAHAHAHA.

THE END.

I think I cage people with my feelings. Isn't it the most effective way of holding someone down? For all the things you could call a vampire, unemotional isn't one of them. Our ties to humanity are bound by anger, hate, need, love. For all our superiority over them, we are, in many ways, their darker shadow. What people bottle up, we unleash. Is it really a wonder that we're called monsters for being more human?

I always believed that Damon could leave. Anytime, anywhere. And it scared me so I left first. I always believed that Katherine only needs herself and I hate her for it. This is all still true... but it's not the only one. I feel that there is more importance on who I am and the way I feel. It has certainly kept us together.... but not the way I want it to be.

I remember when I died.

It was a moment of pain, so fierce that it was everywhere. I looked to my left and Damon's dead body stared back at me. I looked to my right and Katherine was being whisked away. Was it fear I saw in her face? Suddenly, my memory can't be trusted anymore. Who am I trusting these days? Can I keep anyone safe?

I feel alone. More alone than I have in years. I don't think anyone has my back. Not this time.

How does one explain what we are? Aliens? We have our own terms, our own way of existence... we could be aliens for all we know. But then, there are times when we're so human, what else could we possibly be? That can't be right, can it? And yet, here we are. Maybe that's why we keep lingering back to humans, towns, cities. We have to be around them, we have to remember what it felt like, even though we're so far apart now.

Now... the dull ache in me continues. I think about feeding all the time, but I think of the guilt coming back to me in one painful gasp. I could feed. It would make me stronger. It would lessen my need.

But who would I be?

Current Mood: busy

What's the expression people use nowadays? FML? I feel that defines me right now. Though, to be fair, it's been that way for a long time now. I run, Damon chases or I come back and he's waiting there. I thought maybe in Mystic Falls, I would have some time to my own. He didn't come after me fifteen years ago and Damon hates the memory of Mystic Falls. But I was wrong. ... I should be used to that. I'm so used to being wrong about everything. Why do I even try to reach out for him when I know he just doesn't care?

And there are new vampires here, the kind I hate. I couldn't keep it together. Nothing is going well anymore and I can't even skip town with Damon. We're stuck here. ... At least Elena is safe. As for me, it's back to the game of eternal misery and revenge. Joy.

How many more people are going to know? How many more people will find out? And every time, I feel like my heart is sinking. "Nothing good can come out of this" and I know that from experience. ...But nobody's leaving. Nobody's saying goodbye. I'm over a hundred years old and I still don't get it.

Current Mood: awake

Summer camp is not what I remembered to be. It's a prison for one. A prison full of people who don't belong there. I guess this is what happens when I wander too far for a squirrel. My world gets turned on its head. Vampires sensing others... people acting as blood banks.... It's too much. It's too good. This can't last. It never does.

Elena... if she was here, would she like it? No, probably not. She belongs in Mystic Falls, with her family. And Damon here would be a trainwreck I don't want to see, but I know I will. Because he'll come after me like he always does. Though... what will he do? I used to know, now I don't. I keep hoping but he's always let me down.

And I deserve that.

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Stefan Salvatore

Entries tagged with stefan's diary

[OOC] Stefan's Diaries - The Craving

[IC] Diary Entry - 08

[IC] Journal Entry - 07

[IC] Journal Entry - 06

[IC] Journal Entry - 05

[IC] Journal Entry - 04

[IC] Journal Entry - 02

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January 2013

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